This is “Death to Sunday Scaries,” where we explore how to navigate the feelings that come with work-life and how we can create emotional development in the workplace.
We’ll use today’s “Death to Sunday Scaries” to review what you need to know about “Sensitive People” and how leaders like you can drive meaningful change.
Sensitive people are critical to reengaging the global workforce.
Throughout my life, I’ve found that not everyone can readily imagine what other people might be thinking or feeling as easily as I can.
Early in my career, people started taking me aside for informal conversations about challenging situations. I’d listen, reflect, and offer guidance. This typically included what I could sense, like how other people might react, or why someone seemed difficult to work with.
These conversations yielded positive outcomes and strengthened relationships, so people would refer their colleagues, or their managers, to speak with me about their challenges. And so my reputation grew.
Eventually, my role became formal. Executives and business partners would ask me to run conflict mediations, or to coach people on difficult relationships.
People would tell me I’m “good with people,” but in reality, I’m relying on my greatest asset—my high sensitivity.
Sensitivity is one of my core capabilities, and it has guided my career. I used to struggle to view sensitivity as a strength. This is in part due to a lack of awareness, dialogue, training, and tools for sensitive people—and their colleagues—in the workplace.
While we easily dismiss people as “too sensitive,” I find we rarely celebrate someone for being excellent at it. This is the type of change I’m calling for.
Sensitive people can be strategically deployed against business-critical objectives, like retaining happy customers, innovative problem solving, and leading teams with empathy and integrity.
Leaders and managers who want to see more emotional development in the workplace and maximize the value of having sensitive people on their team will want to learn:
how sensitivity works at a biological and psychological level
why sensitivity is like a superpower that can be used strategically
how we can support & empower sensitive people in the workplace
High sensitivity is an inherited, neurobiological trait found in 20% of the population.
If you tend to have strong reactions to physical and emotional inputs, such as loud noises, crowded rooms, violence in movies, or people’s moods, then you may be a Sensitive or Highly Sensitive Person.
Think of a “Sensitive Person” as someone with a finely-tuned antenna. They pick up on more signals from the world around them, including subtle aspects of their environment (harsh lighting, foul smells), or the mood in a room of people.
You can imagine the evolutionary role of Sensitive People as the ones who watch out for threats while everyone else is focused on tasks like hunting & gathering.
Research on sensitivity and “Highly Sensitive People” (HSPs), has been pioneered by Dr. Elaine Aron, who studied HSPs and introduced the concept of Sensory Processing Sensitivity (SPS). She also wrote the book, The Highly Sensitive Person, which has inspired many others to expand on the topic.
The Sensory Processing Sensitivity trait refers to an individual’s increased sensitivity to external stimuli, such as physical sensations, emotional expression, and threats in their environment. Their brain processes information deeply and more thoroughly than most people, making them highly responsive to the world.
Sensitivity is a fundamental human trait. Everyone is sensitive to some degree. But, as with all traits, the intensity of expression varies on a spectrum across the population.
You can’t “stop being sensitive.” You can learn to manage it, but you shouldn’t have to hide a part of who you are—especially when you are adding value.
There are critical roles for sensitive people to play all across society.
Our challenge is to help everyone recognize how to appreciate the depth of responsiveness that sensitive people are capable of.
Sensitivity can be strategically deployed as a superpower.
The workplace can learn to strategically benefit from sensitive and highly sensitive people, in part thanks to a unique set of skills and abilities.
Their high sensitivity and responsiveness make for powerful assets that lead them to be creative, deep thinking, empathic, and attentive to details.
At work, sensitive people are more likely to:
recognize when a client is unhappy
notice stress and overwhelm in their co-workers
identify gaps or potential problems that others miss
sense, or “just know,” when something isn’t right
These unique abilities make sensitive people excellent at roles that are customer-facing, highly collaborative, or focused on leading people.
To unlock their best performance, we must support and empower sensitive people with intention.
While depth of processing can be a powerful asset, it also puts sensitive people at risk for overwhelm. Because the sensitive mind processes information deeply, mass amounts of sensory information can overload it. So, sensitive people tend to struggle in chaotic, loud, and busy environments, especially under pressure.
Sensitive people are typically more susceptible to unfavorable office conditions (e.g. bright lights, noisy areas.) They’re also more affected by tools like Slack, which demand attention and can contribute to feelings of overstimulation.
Due to their depth of processing, sensitive people are also more susceptible to burnout, as they often feel emotions at a deeper level and find it harder to disassociate or step away from feelings like anger, exhaustion, or sadness.
If you lead, manage, or work cross-functionally with a sensitive person, it’s important to think about how you tailor your approach to working with them.
In short:
thoughtful awareness = high performance and healthy work-life
brute force or neglect = increase risk of overwhelm, burnout, and turnover
So, how can we unlock high performance in sensitive people?
Sensitive people are now invaluable in a working world where around 70% of the workforce feels not engaged or disengaged (Gallup, 2023.)
“Quiet Quitting” is a reflection of the growing realization that the opportunity to work is simply not enough to satisfy us anymore. There is a clear difference between being physically present and being deeply engaged with your work.
We need sensitive managers, partners, creators, designers, and customer service reps, who are adept at picking up on cues that help others to feel heard, seen, and understood.
There’s a reason why the “Touchy Feely” class at Stanford Business School is one of the all-time favorite classes amongst graduates. Public education has failed to address a key skill critical to success: social-emotional development.
This is a key goal of “Death to Sunday Scaries” - helping people with managing emotions at work. Whether you identify as a sensitive person, or you simply believe we can make better use of sensitive people at work, here is what I encourage:
1. Raise awareness around sensitivity in the workplace.
First, we must destigmatize sensitivity and promote awareness of how sensitivity can serve as a unique advantage in the workplace. Only then can we unlock previously unrealized levels of performance.
2. Lead training and share useful tools related to sensitivity.
HR and People Managers advocating for training and education on high sensitivity can help empower individuals with this trait and support greater collaboration and understanding amongst teams.
3. Build sensitivity into your workplace strategy.
What if we actually planned how to use sensitive people tactically?
An emotionally mature workplace is one that understands peoples inherent skills and abilities, and deploys them with intention.
Imagine relying on your most sensitive team member to meet with an unhappy client, or to resolve a conflict between teams.
Research indicates that sensitive people are best-positioned to read people and sense what they want.
We must reframe our understanding of sensitivity in order to create a more emotionally developed workplace.
It’s my belief that before we’ll see the corporate world recognize sensitivity as a strength, we’ll need to start by accepting sensitivity within ourselves and the people closest to us.
By focusing on reframing our perception of sensitivity, we’ll find a dramatic increase in wellbeing. This will also help us drive change in the broader world.
If you don’t identify as sensitive, but you want to help, you can start here:
Learn about HSP traits and promote open communication. Listen to their needs, concerns, and feedback without judgment.
Foster an environment that offers some flexibility, clear expectations, and opportunities to reduce stress and overwhelm.
Show empathy, respect boundaries, and celebrate their strengths and achievements. Foster a culture of inclusivity and emotional support.
If you think you might be sensitive, I invite you to speak up or reach out:
Do you identify with the high sensitivity / reponsiveness trait?
Have you felt it embraced or suppressed at work?
How do you imagine a future where sensitivity is more valued at work?
Good work Ryan. Your dad told me you were doing a lot of sensitivity stuff but I didn't know your progression from doing it because that was you and eventually being recognized by management that you have a skill that can be useful for others. Keep at it.
I consider myself as a sensitive person and taught my classes that way. When the book came out about Emotional Intelligience I got a phone call from a former high school student calling to tell me that I was teaching about EQ years ago to them.
Also when I worked with students one on one I became aware of my sensitivity to what they were sharing and how my response was non threatening to them because I was tuned into their feelings. A student would be sharing intimate feelings and I would ask if they had ever been to counseling and they would say no because they couldn't trust the person
And here they were meeting me for the first time and laying out their feelings to me. I realized that my sensitivity to their feelings was setting up a situation where they felt safe to talk. This is like you experienced when colleagues would talk to you
I am glad you have found a way to use your sensitivity in the business world. No small feat.
Lee Beckom
Leebeck1745@gmail.com