The Need for Emotional Development in the Workplace
Our global workforce is struggling with widespread dissatisfaction. To find meaning and joy in our work-lives, we could all benefit from a bit of emotional development.
I’ve seen enough. Our global workforce is struggling.
From the rampant “Sunday Scaries” to the burnout epidemic, we’re experiencing widespread dissatisfaction. We want our work to add meaning and joy to our lives, but the overwhelm of workplace challenges are leading to a mental health crisis instead.
This is why we need emotional development in the workplace.
Why are people unhappy with their work?
I’ve spent a decade building industry-leading professional development programs and coaching top performers in the high-growth startup space. With over 600+ hours of coaching experience, I’ve observed a common reaction to workplace disatisfaction—the instinct to flee.
Many people believe that changing jobs is the solution to work-related issues like anxiety, burnout, conflict, stress, or boredom.
Companies attempt to solve this retention problem by offering career development opportunities and launching “wellness programs” that often feel more like virtue signaling than practical solutions. (We pay for your Calm membership! What more could you want?)
These efforts, while helpful reminders, fail to solve the problem at scale.
According to Gallup’s 2023 Workforce report, approximately 70% of the global workforce is either “not engaged,” or “actively disengaged” from their work.
This isn’t for lack of trying. But it’s time to admit defeat and try something new.
Our approach to attracting, retaining, and developing talent isn’t working.
Instead, we’re failing people forward.
We are inadvertently pushing people from one job to the next, without any effort to addess their underlying behavioral challenges or mental health issues.
Our inaction is fueling the burnout epidemic.
Negative self-perception and interpersonal conflict can both be viewed as the result of struggling to manage our own thoughts & emotions. Whether it’s true conflict, a type of miscommunication, or a gripping fear of speaking up, these issues stem from a lack of emotional understanding, of ourselves and of each other.
Almost everyone I meet through my work is looking to create change in this manner, either by escaping people who cause them to suffer, or by learning how to do things differently.
This is why we need to build emotional intelligence, develop new behavioral skills, and properly support each other as a professional community.
We need a whole new approach to change the way we view our work.
I believe we do this by reframing our understanding of 'hard skills.'
For some odd reason, we talk about “soft skills” as if they are abilities that come naturally to everyone. Soft skills typically refer to abilities like leadership, effective communication, teamwork, motivation, and adaptability.
On the other hand, we use “hard skills” to describe the abilities we gain through hands-on experience, training, or education.
We have this backwards.
What we’ve been calling “hard skills” are now easier to learn than ever before. Platforms like YouTube or Udemy, as well as emergent tools like ChatGPT, make knowledge & training more accessible than ever before in our history.
If you’ve worked in corporate, you’ll quickly call B.S. 💩 on the idea that communication skills come naturally to everyone.
That’s because these are the real “hard skills.” Developing these abilities takes massive amounts of time and energy. It requires patience, tenacity, and yes, hard work!
The modern workplace demands emotional development.
In all my experience with high-performing professionals, there are 3 key areas that people want to see themselves grow and develop their emotional intelligence:
Self-Awareness: our ability to recognize, understand, and evaluate our own emotions, thoughts, and behaviors; involves reflecting on your internal experience.
Interpersonal Skills: our ability to interact effectively and positively with others; involves a range of social-emotional competencies that help us build & maintain healthy relationships.
Resilience to Stress: our ability to cope with and adapt to challenging situations, setbacks, and adversity; involves recognizing and responding to stress in a healthy, effective manner.
There are hundreds of tools, techniques, skills, and practices associated with these 3 types of emotional development. I’d urge you to notice how they all relate directly to our perception of experience. People want to better understand WHY work causes so many emotions!
There is a real-world reason that our work feels so emotional. It’s tied to our sense of survival.
Our fixation on work has deep historical roots. It’s not just a way to earn a living, it’s our ingrained survival instinct. We’re hardwired to build, create, and solve complex problems, so that we can thrive together.
As a quick reflection of how we got here, consider the following:
The roots of our relationship with work go back to our early beginnings as hunter-gatherers, where work was synonymous with life itself.
10,000 years ago the Agricultural Revolution led us to settle down into farm life where work was communal; everyone contributed to the growth and harvest of crops.
As societies grew in complexity, so did our work. We developed societal roles like farmer, builder, merchant, artisan, scribe, etc., where your work defined your social status.
In the Industrial Revolution we moved from rural communities into bustling cities to toil in factories. Whole new functions emerged, such as Human Resources, in order to properly support the people fueling these large organizations.
Each of these cultural shifts has influenced the tie between our survival instincts and the act of working. This fusion is even encoded in our brains—specifically within our limbic system. It’s the oldest part of our brains (least recent to evolve) and it’s what drives our fight-or-flight response.
While your boss giving you a “poor performance” review shouldn’t feel as alarming as seeing a tiger walking towards you, our brains typically get triggered into feeling like it’s the same threat level. And our bodies will listen when the mind tells it to be alert.
As it stands, we live in a society that collectively dictates what is deemed appropriate, or inappropriate. As such, we’ve been trained to hold these feelings in, numb them, or to just “act professional.” Yet, with nowhere to go, the emotions and stress we carry from each of these interactions at work builds up in our bodies.
Without the training to identify, process and respond to these emotions, we’re setting ourselves up to be in a loop of stress, burnout and dissatisfaction in our work.
This is where the common reaction to flee when things are hard at our jobs will break down. If we repeat our emotional response patterns, even in a new environment, the problems will always be within us, and you can bet they will re-emerge.
Ultimately, we’re in the midst of the next evolution (or revolution) of work.
We tend to focus on the tools & technology (yes, AI) that are accelerating our path, but we need to pay an equitable level of attention to how we evolve as humans amidst this monumental shift.
This is why I’m calling for emotional development in the workplace. It’s the change we need in order to ascend to the next era of work.
I ask that you take a moment to relfect on your own experiences with emotional development. How might strengthening these skills influence your work-life balance, job satisfaction, and overall happiness?
In the next issue, we’ll dive into what I believe to be a key skill of self-management and emotional development: reframing.
Reframing means recognizing the lens with which you are viewing your experience and being able to view your experience from various perspectives. It’s the ability to step back, reflect, and consciously shift one's perspective.
We’ll talk about the benefits of reframing, how to do it, and ways you can reframe your mindset towards your career or work holistically.
Until then, may you be happy.
Ryan