How To Reframe Negative Thoughts & Boost Your Emotional Intelligence
Ever felt the creeping dread of Monday sneakin in, an uninvited guest with a looming sense of anxiety as the workweek draws near?
That is the embodiment of our ‘Sunday Scaries.’
Most of us have a story we tell ourselves about our relationship to work. We've internalized these narratives to the point where they are second nature, but here's the kicker: your work-life perspective is not set in stone; it can be reframed.
Welcome to “Death to Sunday Scaries,” where we navigate the emotional challenges of work-life and push toward a more emotionally developed workplace.
Today's spotlight: Reframing.
Reframing is an essential ability that is set to redefine our professional lives. It bolsters resilience, sharpens problem-solving skills, and enriches work relationships.
Let's imagine this. You’ve planned an epic backyard BBQ, but lo and behold, you wake up to a roaring rainstorm. Now, your response could take one of two paths:
“Oh no, it’s raining. The party is ruined. Everyone will be so disappointed.”
“Wow, nature is unpredictable! This party could evolve into a game night where everyone gets to know each other beyond typical backyard BBQ conversation.”
The first reaction is a story of catastrophe and failure, leading to feelings of frustration and blame. The reframe is a story of acceptance and adaptability, leading to feelings of resilience and optimism.
See what happened there? Same situation, two vastly different narratives, each leading to contrasting emotional outcomes.
This is the power of reframing, a central concept in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). It’s worth noting that CBT is based on the understanding that our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are all deeply interconnected. Framing offers us a bit of influence over our internal experience.
So, we know there is power in how we narrate and interpret our experiences.
The best part is, these narratives aren’t fixed—they can be observed and rewritten.
While changing your narrative isn't easy—it calls for self-reflection, practice, and even professional help—it’s definitely achievable.
Let’s explore how people like us can strengthen & develop their reframing skills.
Reframing isn’t a magical ability only accessible to the chosen few. It’s an essential development tool, tied inextricably to self-management and high emotional intelligence - and it’s well within your grasp.
Reframing is acknowledging the lens with which you view the world.
It’s as if you were a photographer, with a gearbag full of different lenses.
You likely already use reframing in certain contexts, like when you justify a friend's uncharacteristic behavior or understand the 'silver lining' in a challenging situation.
The real trick lies in extending this ability to other contexts, particularly those that shape your perception of your work and abilities.
Reframing is a skill that’s critical to managing and understanding emotions, as it empowers individuals to entertain alternative viewpoints and interpretations of their experiences.
It's important to remember that reframing doesn't promise to dissolve every real-world problem; instead, it offers new perspectives, making it a potent tool in your Emotional Intelligence arsenal.
How will you know when to reframe?
Here are a few situations where I’m working to build my self-awareness and increase my reflexive ability to reframe:
feelings of dread, anxiety, or fear that can arise in the course of my work
recurring thought patterns that don’t serve me, my values, or my purpose
frustrations, unexpected challenges, or deviations from a plan
when I’m feeling judgment of others, at work or out in society
Ready to hone your reframing skills?
Here are some strategies to get you started:
Identify Your Current Frame: Recognize your current perspective. Is it negative? Positive? Neutral? Be brutally honest about the lens you’re looking through.
Challenge Your Interpretation: Ask yourself—is this the only way to see things? Could there be a different perspective? Is my view an absolute truth or a type of personal bias?
Seek Alternatives: Actively seek alternative viewpoints. How would someone else perceive this situation? What would it look like from an opposing standpoint? What other versions of the story could exist?
So there you have it, folks—the essence of reframing, a cycle of identifying, challenging, and seeking alternatives.
When the Sunday Scaries kicks in, it may help to notice the stories you're telling yourself.
Are you thinking, 'The weekend's over, I didn't do everything I wanted, and now I have to face another daunting week'? What if you could switch that narrative to, 'I did what I could this weekend, and now I'm geared up to tackle the week ahead, teeming with opportunities'?
The 'Sunday Scaries' thrive on a singular, often negative mindset. Reframing comes in as the game-changer, the antidote. When we reframe, we cultivate resilience by allowing ourselves to see multiple perspectives on our experiences.
This makes us less susceptible to the anxieties associated with work, liberating us from the confines of a single, often negative viewpoint.
The journey to reframing isn’t just about tweaking how you view work—it’s about overhauling your entire life narrative. So, let's say “Death to Sunday Scaries!” as we harness the power of reframing in our work-life and beyond.
May you be happy.
P.s. In the last edition, we explored the demand for Emotional Development in the workplace. In response, I’ve heard an array of responses, including:
stories of colleagues who shut down conversation if they get an emotional response
folks who resonate with wanting more emotional development at work
fears that corporate leadership won’t take this effort seriously
If you’d like to read that issue, you can find it here:
Thanks for this post, Ryan! An actionable way to start cultivating a happy and positive mind.
Well done :)